This blog is going absolutly nowhere.
I've stopped updating daily and my posts are shit.
I'm not one to point fingers, but, I blame it on my current state.
And was is that? you may be asking. Although I doubt it.
I'm basically going through a major identity crisis.
BIG FUCKING DEAL, YOU WUSS. I know.
But, you know, high school isn't fun and having no idea where you're going when everyone around you seems to be on a visible path makes it even worse. I honestly thought that having a blog would somehow lead me to see the path that is meant for me, but it that's not working. I was foolish to think anyone besides my friends who also blog would read this. There is no purpose to it; just a random person talking about an array of things. To me, blogs that have a common theme are much more interesting and this blog has no theme, no structure at all. And frankly, I can't narrow anything down that I have a total passion for. I've been battling with who I want to be for a while now and trying to find my scene is proving to be the toughest experience so far in my life. I feel the need to thrust myself into a category because most of the people I'm constantly surrounded by know exactly where they belong. I've dabbled in many different scenes, but they always lead me to a new, and for the moment, better place. None of them seem to work out and I'm still staring at the ground, looking at a patch of unmarked land with so many possibilities if I just start walking. The problem is, I can't start walking for fear of never stopping and realizing, when it's too late, that I put the wrong foot forward. Now, I may be too young to decide where I want to be, but I'm surrounded by people who are on the right path towards their bright future. I can't even see a step in front of me, because of the darkness that is my future. High school is scaring me since everyone is making it seem like I have to be secure enough with my choices now about classes and such so I can choose the right future. Deciding upon a future in the middle of an identity crisis could lead to my biggest fear: getting stuck in a cubicle and making the show The Office come to life in the form of my poorly chosen job.
So basically, the type up above is fancy talk for this blog is finished.
I just can't update anything interesting with all of this going on in my head.
I've stopped updating daily and my posts are shit.
I'm not one to point fingers, but, I blame it on my current state.
And was is that? you may be asking. Although I doubt it.
I'm basically going through a major identity crisis.
BIG FUCKING DEAL, YOU WUSS. I know.
But, you know, high school isn't fun and having no idea where you're going when everyone around you seems to be on a visible path makes it even worse. I honestly thought that having a blog would somehow lead me to see the path that is meant for me, but it that's not working. I was foolish to think anyone besides my friends who also blog would read this. There is no purpose to it; just a random person talking about an array of things. To me, blogs that have a common theme are much more interesting and this blog has no theme, no structure at all. And frankly, I can't narrow anything down that I have a total passion for. I've been battling with who I want to be for a while now and trying to find my scene is proving to be the toughest experience so far in my life. I feel the need to thrust myself into a category because most of the people I'm constantly surrounded by know exactly where they belong. I've dabbled in many different scenes, but they always lead me to a new, and for the moment, better place. None of them seem to work out and I'm still staring at the ground, looking at a patch of unmarked land with so many possibilities if I just start walking. The problem is, I can't start walking for fear of never stopping and realizing, when it's too late, that I put the wrong foot forward. Now, I may be too young to decide where I want to be, but I'm surrounded by people who are on the right path towards their bright future. I can't even see a step in front of me, because of the darkness that is my future. High school is scaring me since everyone is making it seem like I have to be secure enough with my choices now about classes and such so I can choose the right future. Deciding upon a future in the middle of an identity crisis could lead to my biggest fear: getting stuck in a cubicle and making the show The Office come to life in the form of my poorly chosen job.
So basically, the type up above is fancy talk for this blog is finished.
I just can't update anything interesting with all of this going on in my head.
if you like scary stories, check out "the surgeon" on my blog
ReplyDeletei will miss your blog. and i don't think you'll end up in a cubicle :]
ReplyDeleteI will also miss it. It was a bright point of my day. The sunshine in my life, if you will.
ReplyDeletehaha marisa niceee
ReplyDeleteoh and yea ill miss your blog too XD
Y'know what? I think the problem is that you need to make your OWN scene. ^^
ReplyDeleteNone of the existing ones are good enough to contain your awesomeness!!!
(ps. My vote for the name of the new scene is the Rachelites. ;D)
Hang in there, kid. It'll get better. I laughed my ass off reading this post. I hope I was supposed to. Don't quit. -- Mykal
ReplyDelete